A Thank You Note

Today I am feeling sad as I found out my beloved friend Leslie had just passed away. It was made harder because I am in the process of arranging with his wife, one of my besties to go out and share our normal “table for four” treats every now and then. So you can appreciate how “missed out” I am feeling. Having learned that painful lesson, I would now endeavour to layer myself up through storm and rain just to sit opposite someone I love and share those precious moments.

I met Leslie about four decades ago as our children attended the same kindergarten and we were fortunate that not only our kids liked each other, the parents also resonated with each other and became lifelong friends. We shared many celebrations along the way, from birthdays (includings all 21st), confirmations, engagements, weddings.   

Leslie was a neurologist and his passion and devotion towards medicine and his patients was extraordinary. He moved with ease combining his expertise and professionalism and together with his hallmark calm energy and down to earth manner relaxed all those under his care. He always walked that extra mile and to say he was helpful would have been an understatement. So throughout all these decades, it was Leslie whom I would call upon if any of our organs were misbehaving and each time he was happy and willing to be there for us or to refer our “organ parts” to some of his specialist friends. I knew his home phone number by heart that once while after being admitted to the Emergency and when asked “who do you want to call?”, I gave them Leslie’s number. That incidentally happened on a Sunday afternoon, his day off and he was going to accompany his wife to Chapel Street (our popular shopping strip) but he turned up at the hospital which luckily was located in the same area.  I ended up staying in the hospital for a week and Leslie would pop in to check on me, almost every evening before he headed home for dinner. Leslie was not just a Doctor, he was a healer, a friend and a superb human being; attributes such as sensitivity, gentleness, compassion and non-judgmental attitude were values he cherished throughout his amazing and very useful life. 

Though Leslie was a rather quiet man but I “heard” him loud and clear while he was sitting next to my hospital bed, he could soothe the fear and pain away while inspiring and encouraging me to get well. Just like what my prose below would describe, I sensed a mutual place created between us, a sacred space if you like between the healer and the one to be healed. I believe it was the shared intention of returning to health that triggered off my recovery.  I remember how special that moment felt with neither words or actions to interfere the stillness and in that suspension I knew I was worthy to be healed - to be made WHOLE again.

For those who have been blessed enough to have met Leslie, everyone would agree he was a very gentle, kind and generous Soul, but he was in no way timid, he would happily stand up for principles he believed in. Leslie was also a great pianist and he would play for us on his grand piano during some great parties at his home and everyone was moved by his skill and style as the sound of classical music soared up toward their cathedral ceiling.

My reaction to the news of his passing affected me much more so than normally because it wasn’t just about me losing a very good friend, it was something more.  While bombarded by news feed on television and suffering a case of digital overload and an extraordinary amount of accumulated stress caused by chasing so hard after my life, I am longing for that place of quietude that Leslie seemed to own. I frightened myself further by thinking that we as a human race would soon be running out of that rare kind of quiet energy. In a moment of shock and sadness, I held my fist up towards Heaven, demanding to know why they would need to recruit him Home while we earthlings down here are so desperately in need for Leslie’s ability to dilute some of the rushed collective energy. 

So today I am not going to push away this painful feeling of grief, to grieve is not an indication of my weakness or my inability to hold faith, it is the price of love I am willing to pay for having been touched by such compassion and generosity.  I shall respect this grieving passage and accept that it needs not be a place to stay for too long.  But instead, I would thank God for Leslie and thank Leslie for demonstrating that it is possible to embody all these wonderful attributes in a body within a lifetime by contributing so much to humanity.  

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave - Dakota Indian proverb

FYI, I wrote this prose for my late brother-in-law Vincent on March, 1998, shortly before his passing, he “liked” it so much that on one occasion many years later he “revealed” to me that he had resonated with it. (That could be perhaps another story to be told in the future?)

Now as to why I want to include this prose for Leslie’s tribute blog, because if I had the opportunity to be sitting next to his bed while he was very ill last week, I would have wanted so much to convey these words to him. I have a feeling he would have agreed with each single word, now I “see” him smiling and nodding his head in his usual way and I know HE IS WELL. (definitely more “alive” than me)

A THANK YOU NOTE

There is a place I often go,

We can arrive there with or without a form.

Stripped of an ego and a personality,

I know we just meet as pure Souls.

If you feel it is time to let go,

All your worldly cares and woes,

Take only the memories of Love,

You’ve so generously received and shown.

I cannot thank you enough,

For in my darkest moments you’ve come,

Not so much with words or actions,

But in the silence you evoked

That special sacredness only Spirits know.

God speed, my brother, my friend,

Embraced by angels and our prayers,

Homecoming is no longer a scary threat.

Rest and wait for a little while,

You will then greet us one by one,

With my sincerity I like to assure,

I’ll regard that welcome as my special reward.

Bonnie Hoo

March 1998.

Okay, everyone, what a year this has been, pretty full on though plain sailing is not the phrase for me. We all should be proud of ourselves as many challenges have been met, meaningful lessons learned, fears liberated, love extended, fun absorbed and friendships formed, just like the one we have here though we only have met up digitally and globally.  I am grateful to have you accompanying me on this journey, you make it so fun and filling my heart with love, peace, joy and gratitude. I wish you the same “overflow” for now and next year. Let’s all enjoy a peaceful Christmas, a well earned break and collectively combine our positivity, courage and great intention for all things good and uplifting in 2020. 

Thanks for reading my blog and I send you LOVE.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what 

you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel

-  Maya Angelou

The why that makes you (me here) cry is the key - David Jockers